Just Me...
You know, the 'how I got this way' part. Or why I think this way? To make a long story short, I had ample opportunity and many reasons to 'think'. My mom died when I was eleven from bone cancer; my family lived on a small, Minnesota farm without close relatives, and I began then to question religion. Earliest years, before a move away from Chicago and my mom's family, I was raised in a Lutheran (Christian) faith. The problem was, I was taught if you pray and you are good, then - your prayers are answered. This created a great deal of turmoil for me - either I was extremely bad, or God was cruel, or there was no God. At the time, I finally decided the last option was the easiest one for me to live with.
But I found 'something' in nature, a sense of spirit and okayness larger than myself. It was butterflies and drifting clouds and baby animals; it was flowers and the smell of black dirt; it was tiny life in a pond, and green trees in the spring. I was alone a lot, and I did not have a name for this source of life, but it was much of the support that helped me through some hard years. Now... I call this God. I was baffled at the many religions of the world, from Buddha to Allah, Christian to Islamic, Native American beliefs to the Jewish faith. Which one was the only right one? Yet the greatest teachers of all religions taught love and respect for others, not pits of hell and intolerance. I came to believe there is a seed of truth that is shared by all faiths, and from it many branches. I still use God's many names, from Hu to Allah. Personally, I have been known by many names, from Mom to 'Lainy by little kids, but I was still the same person. So it seems reasonable to me that God is known by many names in different ways.
My respect for life came from the farm. I realized a living butterfly was a small miracle. I cried over sick calves that died and baby birds caught in deadly storms. I shared the glory of nature, from crystal winter mornings to thundering rain. Watching new life emerge in the spring always fascinated me, that a dead tree in extreme cold could produce leaves again, or a tiny nut could become a huge oak one day. Wow! :) The force of life was all around me, and baby animals are so ...just babies? From dogs to monkeys to humans, babies are just great. Especially the hairless, toothless, naked species we call 'children'. I had my own, took care of others, and each one was 'a little great person'.
So... I grew from a child that brought home every stray she found (a goat, a few cows, a blind pony, along with dogs and cats or wild baby birds and rabbits) into 'just me'. I try to think for myself and treat others the way I would want to be treated. About the last thing I learned was to respect myself equally - no one has the right to emotionally or physically harm me. I have occasionally defended my children like a mother bear would her cubs, or spoken up against injustices - now I will equally protect myself. From what I have lived, I have learned to see others more clearly. I think 'every experience has the potential to be beneficial' - if we use it for such. So if I have learned anything, then sharing it can benefit others.
Three photos, by request... First, 'just me'
Middle photo... SOMEONE was playing in water & mud... granddaughter?
Last photo... Same SOMEONE colored her face with marker, then came barking into my room on all fours - barking for cookies?
SOMEONE ... I can't imagine life without this little one, and that is why I think of the mothers that have lost children, always a tragedy - but so senseless in war.
These linking pages are included simply because so few people ask my opinion any more? :) And they all connect in some way to peace. But they are strictly my viewpoint on these things. I share these pages, from humor to tears, from sarcasm to hugs, just because.... it is 'just me'?